How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
