it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
