I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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