big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
