i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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