it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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