i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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