She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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