yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
