Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You took a bar mat shot.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
