Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Found your dick twin last night
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
