its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize