not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize