please come you make the beer taste better
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
