Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
