let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
