i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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