I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Farmville is her only friend.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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