Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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