I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
