Don't you send me to vm
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
