I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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