i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
