Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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