we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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