i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
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So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.