sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
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yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?