mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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