The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
