it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
