wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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