New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
