that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
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So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
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My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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