i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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