Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize