Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
