u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The struggles of a small town man whore
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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