I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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