I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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