dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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