Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
well you can't waste a boner
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize