kristin has been a bad kristin
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
