We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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