Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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