I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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