Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
