All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize