i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize