She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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