the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize