how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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