I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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