i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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