You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize