can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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