I'm really into asian looking animals
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
