Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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