tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
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no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
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When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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