I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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