I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
