I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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