found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
