My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
