Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
